This is why you don’t fuck with me

This is why you don’t fuck with me.

I went on a date with another man a few nights ago. So, um yeah.

So, my husband and I have hit a little bit of a “rocky patch”, so to speak. I decided that I actually have not forgiven him quite yet for his past indiscretions (see the last post). To make a long-story short, I end up (seemingly) hitting it off with this guy at the Starbucks a few blocks away. A corporate lawyer – just like Harold – but this guy is taller, younger, and actually in decent shape (still a bit soft-looking for my liking, but I can attribute some of that to his relative youth).

So, he’s 31 and going through a fairly rough divorce…honestly it kind of put things into perspective. I actually had to coax him into the date, actually. Not for a lack of desire on his end (of course), but because he’s still technically married, and it could negatively affect the terms of the divorce if he’s perceived to be dating behind his wife’s back. I told him it’s just a technicality (I’m sure his wife’s livin’ it up herself, LOL) and while there’s nothing wrong with going on an innocent date, I would be totally discrete. So, we have a nice dinner (all the while Hubby won’t leave me the fuck alone – see the screencap pic of his texts, LOL).
my conversation with harold
Afterwards, we go back to his place as things get kinda hot-and-heavy, and you know what happens? This fucking loser has the GALL to ask me if I “brought protection.” Like, literally – he REFUSED to go any further, claiming that he wouldn’t do so without “protection.” I am so fucking sick of this always being the woman’s responsibility, because you know what? It’s a double-edged sword that CUTS us every fucking time. Here’s why:
a) First scenario: The woman has condoms available. She’s a skank! Pump and dump her and move on!

b) Second scenario: The woman doesn’t have condoms, so she must not use them. She’s a skank! Pump and dump her and move on!

Wow. Just wow. So yeah…I’m not about to start playing that game. When he gets up to go to the bathroom, I check his phone, fine his wife’s number in like seven seconds, and put it into mine. We got dressed, I left. He texted me a couple hours later, and I sent THIS:
text conversation with a cheater named alan
Enjoy the divorce, loser.
So, um, yeah. That’s why you don’t fuck with me.

This isn’t about sticking it to the manosphere – this is about being a body-positive role model for larger girls EVERYWHERE.
But now, I fly free – affirmed; strong…TLW. The Larger Woman.
I am majestic.

~Desiree

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53 thoughts on “This is why you don’t fuck with me

  1. ryanelsic says:

    Oh I wont wont waste my time explaining to you how a heterosexual couple works and how men and women have different roles in society, that would be far too much for your land whale brain to comprehend. But I just want you to know that feminism will never prevail. Your fight is pointless

  2. ryanelsic says:

    I was actually appalled by this and felt sorry for your husband until i looked at your profile picture. Then I laughed. You are a disgusting whore. A fat emotional child. There are certain people I would have no problem putting a bullet in and you are one of them (assuming it would be able to penetrate your 3 foot thick blubber armor) Oh and I dont know who would ever fuck you let alone put their dick in your disgusting fat asshole. They had to have been more disgusting than you. Fucking gross

  3. insanitystreak says:

    The verbal abuse, and diarhea irritates me…. your attitude toward another human being is absolute filth… land crab!

  4. huehuehue says:

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead.

    >implying promoting an unhealthy lifestyle makes you a “majestic” person
    >the only thing majestic about you is your weight

  5. PZis Khan says:

    >OP wants to get laid
    >Doesn’t bring condom
    >Assmad when he won’t fuck
    >Blames man for not fucking her without condom
    >implying he’s an awful person

    OP could be troll or dumb; either way, LANDWHALE CONFIRMED, MAN THE HAAAARRPOOONS!

  6. Amanda says:

    You are what’s wrong with the “feminist” movement! You don’t care about women’s rights.. you’re just a vindictive, mean and bitter bitch. Yes you and your husband have issues, but cheating on him isn’t the answer.. and ruining some guy’s divorce isn’t right.

    I’m a big girl myself.. but I truly love myself. and because of this I’m a happy person. Maybe if you get your metal and physical health in order you will see being this mean and vindictive is not the way to go about life.

    Amanda

  7. Super thin and white male says:

    Hi Desiree,
    I really understand where all this anger comes from. I’d be very angry too, my sympathy is with you. Since you are a scholar and all, I’d like to know the study that concludes that a woman of your weight is not unhealthy because of weight alone. Please, let it be peer-reviewed and published. If you can do this, I will hire three black males for your sexual services. Thank you.

  8. Professor Nigzzz says:

    Fantasy: Met corporate lawyer at star-bucks while getting coffee.
    Reality: Bumped scooters with another Ham-beast at Walmart while trying to reach for diet cola.

    This is the Delusional ramblings of a Ham-planet or a Troll of some sorts.

    • Real Perspective says:

      Oh, she doesn’t. There’s Web apps you can use to kick up iPhone messages as images. It takes two seconds and adds “evidence” to her actually being married as well as taking this dude’s phone. Neither man could possibly hate themselves enough to actually want to be around her. The entries read like the bad lies kids tell on tumblr to make themselves seem deep and interesting.

  9. I can’t begin to understand the amount of self hatred that your husband harbors, because only someone who hates himself, would be married to such a dysfunctional piece of shit like you.

  10. Laqueesha says:

    It’s people like you that make me so embarrassed of my own sex that I want to get a sex change operation.

    What has this world come to?

  11. Anonymous090909090 says:

    This is all lies. You’re on some power trip here. Some sort of power fantasy. No human being should have to be in your presence you horrible excuse of a human being.

  12. Anezay says:

    You don’t get to describe someone as being “actually in decent shape” if you are the size and dimensions of the average waterbed.
    I’m curious as to how your cheating is classified as your husband’s indiscretions.

  13. Mike Lebowski says:

    “But now, I fly free – affirmed; strong…TLW. The Larger Woman.
    I am majestic”

    “But now, I wander the streets – a racehorse (born February 21, 1975 and died January 12, 2001); too fat to do real work…. TLW. The Loose Woman.
    I am disgusting”

  14. Cris says:

    People, this is all fake. She probably is a fat fuck, but none of the stories are true.

    Why else would it be written like barrel scraping fan-fiction.

    Funny regardless. Mostly sad. A little funny.

    • Tysm says:

      I do hope so. I can’t imagine in this day and age how people are able to go into someone’s phone and retrieve information without the password lock being an issue.

  15. John says:

    Is this satire? Because I’m struggling to believe anybody can be this fucking narcissistic, wanton, childish, deluded and just generally retarded.

  16. Mr. Thomas Andersen says:

    Fat Hypocrite: I want to cheat on my husband, but I’ll tell your wife you’re cheating with me because he didn’t bring condoms. Put down the cheeseburger and go to the gym, then get some counseling, disgusting bitch.

  17. Ed says:

    Can’t wait for the Caliphate in the middle east to get strong so these Western feminist bitches can get stoned to death.

  18. D says:

    Perhaps, he didn’t expect to have intercourse and that’s why he didn’t have condoms. Perhaps, he just forgot to buy them. Perhaps, he had them but they were expired. Just because he asked you if you had protection doesn’t mean he thought anything less of you; but, of course, because are a feminazi, he was obviously deserving of you reaching out to his wife.

    At least your weight ensures you’ll be in good health and around to post these articles for a long time!

  19. I don’t know what’s worse;
    1. The fact that I just wasted 3 minutes of my precious life reading this horse shit
    2. The fact that you just wrote an article about cheating on your husband
    3. Reading “so, um. yeah” 3 more time’s than I ever planned on in my entire life
    4. YOU’RE WRITING A BLOG ABOUT CHEATING ON YOUR HUSBAND AND GOT FIRED UP ABOUT A GUY ASKING IF YOU HAVE CONDOMS. LOGICAL

    By the way, being a miserable fat fuck is probably going to kill you so maybe you should lose so um yeah…200 pounds

    XOXO Skinny Girl

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